Y'know, some people do have a strong crying response to stress, and they might cry (even against their own will) when faced with an upsetting situation and that doesnt mean they are “gaslighting” or “manipulating” you.
There are people who use crying as a manipulation tactic? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean that every person that cries during a heated argument is trying to get under your skin. They have their own emotions and issues, and frankly, not everything other people do is a personal attack on you.
People who use crying as a manipulation tactic are actually counting on you coddling them so they can redirect or avoid the conversation, meanwhile people who can’t control that they cry when they’re upset often struggle to be taken seriously because of their tears and find the coddling frustrating.
In either case, the best response is to ask if they need a moment to collect themself. If they say yes, agree to a time when you will continue the conversation and hold them to it. If they say no, continue on with the conversation exactly as if they were not crying.
Stg many conversations would be much easier if people would LISTEN when I say “yes I know I’m crying, please ignore it.”
My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You’re in my world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.
